The first season of Church & Carlton draws to a close with the story of Tom Longboat, a well-known historical figure whose athletic prowess has been allowed to overshadow his lifetime of quiet resistance for too long.
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The strange story of Madame Henault, a peddler of a so-called miracle elixir that took Toronto by storm in 1882. Somehow, she roped in Canada’s greatest living athlete and inadvertently made history.
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Today’s episode is a salute to one of my personal heroes, the legendary Frank Mahovlich, King of Sass.
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Tonight’s episode focuses on the uniquely Canadian intersection of hockey and faith through the story of Fr. Les Costello, the promising young Maple Leaf who gave up a hockey career to become a wildly unconventional Catholic priest.
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“That’s horseshit,” says Terry. “Geese don’t fuckin’ have noses.”
“It’s for kids,” Johnny says. ‘Kids don’t care whether geese have noses or not.”
“But how does he honk then, if he’s got a fuckin’ nose? Geese honk with their beaks. I seen ’em.”
“And reindeer don’t have red noses, Terry. No one cares about this stuff at Christmas.”
“It’s not so much the nose thing that concerns me so much as the general narrative structure.” Frank slicks a wad of Brylcreem through his black hair. “The chorus implies that Honky’s central conflict will be his struggles with his weight but the verses deal primarily with the problems caused by his honking.”
“Mahovlich,” says Terry. “You’re the biggest fucking fruitcake I ever met in my life.”